birthdays

this year, for the first time, I am dreading my birthday. My family is not here, my mom will not be making my spice cake with cream cheese frosting, weegie is not here, and I have nothing planned for myself, except going to work..and watching grey's. i really think I just want to cry. I can feel the tears back there, just waiting.

remember when your birthday was a special day planned by your family? At our house, the "birthday fairy" would come at night, and decorate the house, whith streamers and balloons. The whole day was about you, what do you want for breakfast? where do you want to go? what do you want to do? Taco's for dinner, and mom's cake for dessert. Presents from everyone in the family..and the whole day feels special. Tomorrow just feels like a regular day..nothing special happening at all. I wish my family- or weegie were here to make it feel like a special day. I just wish I could skip tomorrow..it's really bumming me out.