valentines day

weird- i don't really know how i feel about this holiday. I think it's a great day to celebrate love, in whatever form it takes in your life. I snuck over to Walter's house and set up some shelves in their kitchen + bought some gadgets they should have, and made him a re-useable lunch bag. That was fun for me, and that's how i show Weegie that I love him. Some people have negative views of it, and they are entitled to their own opinions. It does give you weird expectations (as much as in my head i tell myself, and really believe that i don't need anything on this one particular day that proves someone loves me more than any other day, i still end up feeling bummed out) am i just jealous? Sometimes I struggle with the way i feel. It doesn't always match how i think. In this instance:

I think that i don't need anything on this day
I feel sad when I don't get something on this day

how do I reconcile these 2 things? I want to be a woman who doesn't need things like this to feel love, yet i am a woman who feels loved when she receives these things.

I feel as if I'm stuck in a weird place between my heart and my head. Which one is right, and which one is true Lana?

Does anyone else ever feel like their heart and head are doing/saying 2 different things? Which one do you go with?

I just had a great night at the Stakeholders meeting/making brownies and coffee with kephart, weeg, and haley, plus watching youtube videos.

I will be gone next Thurs am for 2 1/2 weeks, so if you are free anytime before then and would like to hang out, i would like to see you.