One for the books..

Oh boy. I came home for Christmas this year. I haven't been home for several years, so it was such a treat to spend it with my family. But. My family is breaking up, and that was weird. My step-mom (ex-mom?) and little sister were in Florida, my dad flew off to Mexico and completely ignored the whole holiday, and I was here, in CA. My mom, and my brothers and sisters all got/made me things that were meaningful, and centered around family. My mom knitted me a beautiful scarf, my little sister made me one of those travel mugs where you can put photos in it, and there are pictures of my family, philadelphia, cupcakes, etc. I got a couple framed photos of them, and the most amazing, tender thing- my mom took an old necklace of her mothers, and had it restrung, adding some beads, into a new necklace for me, and a pair of earrings. It all made me cry. then my brother and sister in law came over and brought me the present from my step-mom. I barely looked at it, and started bawling. My brother held me as i cried and sobbed. We had a family tradition for the past 21 years of taking a family Christmas picture. She got a copy of every single one, and put them all together in a huge frame. 21 years. basically my entire life. in a frame. no longer existing. broken. finished. it's just so hard to look at it, and see all the memories, and realize they're over. Just thinking about it again is making me cry. I love my family more than anything. Being here on the west coast has been the best best thing. I love being this close, and getting to spend time with them. But it's also hard to let go of it all. I'm mega sad, but it was a lovely, meaningful Christmas, and I was so glad to be able to spend it with my family. Although I was remembering last Christmas with Weegie's fmaily, and I was really really glad I got to spend it with them. They did a wonderful job of making me a part of their family. I also got to spend some time with Zach, which was great. It's been a long couple of months, and I'm excited to see him again soon. We went on a couple of adventures, that were magical and wonderful. I like him.

My sister's Christmas list, note number 8.

Decorating cookies, a family tradition.

Gracie Lou (not her real name, but that's just what I call her..) in all her gear.
(hunter boots! I'm way jealous!)

The world's best/most sad present.

Driving up to Portland tomorrow in a VERY packed mini-van. Family road trip!