Dec 10, 2013

3 months in..

800th post. Momentous? Could be. I left this behind for awhile…I didn't feel like I had my own individual thoughts aside from my relationship..and this blog has always been all about me, myself.

We moved across the country..I guess at this point that sounds normal to you if you know me. Yep, 4th time, maybe it'll stick this time.

It's been 3 months..making friends has never been as east as it was in Philly. A day off, during the week and I'm clueless what to do with myself. Call Haley, Siobhan, Lindsay, Colleen…Ride my bike somewhere I know. I was paralyzed today. I didn't have any of those options. I forced myself out of the house to go to the store and get some things to bake a cake. I drove to the coffee shop on that side of town I love,  and I couldn't even get out of my car.

I've never felt physical effects of stress. I've prided myself to be someone who doesn't get stressed..or at least handles it easily. I can see it wearing on me.

I've never felt pains of loneliness..I'm such an extrovert, a social person…but I only ever see or talk to Richard. I feel good and healthy about knowing that's not enough for me. I need human interaction outside of work. Deep, human connection with someone who knows me, or wants to know me. I miss Philly..for about the hundredth day in a row…

I wasn't ready to leave. Richard was. I gave up my happiness and home to give him his. A lifetime we have of this give and take, loving each other through happiness and sadness, and supporting each other's dreams, passions and goals. I'm adjusting…slowly…a day at a time. I miss my old store, the team I built, and grew with for 2 years.

Tears on a Tuesday….

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