mad crushin

Coco Chanel

I saw Coco Before Chanel this week with Siobhan. It was lovely. It really could have been any woman, and the love story still would have been beautiful. But, it was almost like a fiction story..I can't believe that's what her life was really like. 1st of all, it definitely made me want to keep trying to learn french. i love the language and I want to be able to speak it before I die. 2nd, it's just fascinating how fashion started. It wasn't because someone was trying to become famous, or learned how to design. It was because of their circumstances in life, and they just WERE great. I love fashion. I'm so glad I went to school for something i love, and was able to make a career out of it. It's much better that way.

sofia

ive been slowly watching Sofia Coppola's movies over the past couple of months, because i had never seen any of them. Tonight I watched Lost in Translation which i really enjoyed, just like Virgin Suicides and Marie Antoinette. Jesus and the Mary Chain.

ahhhhhhhhh

Ok- i don't know if i've ever done this before, but i definitely have a new tag. KIDS STUFF. Keep (a favorite shoe company of mine) has a couple kids styles now. so freaking adorable!

Moss Botanicals

I made it down to Art in the Age last week with Colleen, and it was practically perfect. I loved everything in there. Including these Moss Botanicals room sprays. I picked up the "Ceremony" scent because it smells like a rainy forest. Ahhhhh it reminds me of home, and makes me happy. I wish you could smell it on my blog. wouldn't that be neat?

ridding ourselves

I wasn't excited about this, but now i am. I'm going to get rid of a bunch of stuff. Try to sell most of it- so I don't have to rent a truck to drive across the country. Mostly furniture. Because everything else is in boxes, that I frankly don't want to go through. So- In the next couple of weeks I'll post here and on facebook pictures of what I want to get rid of, and if you want it- just let me know!

I'm excited to go treasure hunting for new stuff once I'm in the NW!

tattoooooos

Siobhan and I have tentative plans to get tattooed next Tuesday. candy corn you're mine! I was also thinking about getting a Philly tattoo at some point. I was thinking about afriendship bracelet (the old school woven ones) and have a pretzel, bike wheel, and pint glass woven in the design..i don't know, still thinking about what philly means to me.

Also- I started a new blog, but I haven't actually written on it yet. It's going to be specifically for all of my baking and cooking adventures. I plan on hibernating this winter in my new town, and baking and cooking alot. I bought a new gluten free cookbook, so im going to test out recipes and send them to Siobhan.

AC was really fun, won some money, but got back super late, and had early morning breakfast plans. I am so extremely tired!

Kings of Convenience

New Album came out a few days ago, the first single is lovely.

What a freaking awesome day.

It's BEAUTIFUL in Philly right now. Siobhan and I went to Estelle for brunch (seems to be our go to place when we're together) then out of the city to Terrain for the afternoon. OH MAN- I am super excited to move back to the NW and be in the beautiful scenery there. I love living in the city- but you can have city and green in the NW. awesome. As the days get shorter and shorter..I'm getting more anxious/excited/nervous/sad. A little less than 3 years ago I moved here not knowing a single soul. Now I have so many amazing friends. I've been through some good relationships, friendships, ups, downs, hard times, good times, silly times, i learned about beer, I traveled a TON, I went on adventures..and i'm not stopping until I literally am pulling away from this city. Get at me in the next couple of weeks so we can go on adventures one last time. Atlantic City tonight, NYC once more in the next few weeks, etc etc.

xo

yea for philly

2nd year NL Champs! Go team go! These girls singe the national anthem like it's their job. The 2 on the right are 6, the 2 in the middle are 7, and the one of the left is 8. whaaaaat?

Personal Announcement

I will be leaving Philly in a matter of weeks. I'm extremely sad to be leaving my friends here- as you have been the best, absolute BEST friends I've ever had. If you want to talk more about it, then you can make plans to hang out with me. Otherwise its back west I go. (I'll find out this week if its Seattle, Portland or CA)

Want to drive across the country with me?

east to west

oh life. you're so hil ar i ous

been dealing with some pretty heavy stuff lately. I feel like crying alot. I'm probably drinking more than I usually do. my birthday was yesterday. it went really fast, but it was nice. i'm feeling very stressed out, and overwhelmed, and I'm thinking about alot of things.

1. Moving back to the West Coast.
2. Am I ready to try being in a relationship again.
3. Do I want to go back to school?

and it goes on and on. There is this pain in my heart that I can't think about or my eyes well up- and I can't talk to the most important people in my life about it. It's agonizing, and it hurts. It almost still doesn't feel real.

a certain someone makes me smile, and its nice to have a little distraction from all this craziness going on in my life.

random, spontaneous trip to CA

I was in Vegas last weekend for my annual meet up with my step-dad to work the ren fair. It was a success, I made great money in a short period of time, and was sad to head home. Then i thought" wait- why do I have to go home? I don't have a job.." so i switched my flight to fly out of LAX instead of Las Vegas, and pushed it back a few days (ended up being cheaper and I got money back, woohoo) and drove home with my step-dad. I saw him and my mom in march for a couple hours, but I haven't seen my younger siblings in over a year. We pulled up and it was one giant bear hug. I couldn't have been happier. The twins are 15, and teenagers, and so adorable. Lindsay is 9, and not my baby girl anymore. Nick is probably the most similar to what I remember. I had him drive us (just the kids) into town for some treats. We went to ralphs and got all the fixings to make some ice cream creations. I am seriously in love with my family. SERIOUSLY. They are the best. AND they are coming to Philly in a little over 2 months to spend Christmas with me. I want you to meet them, and I want them to meet you. It's going to be great. Anyways, a few camera shots of my awesome brothers and sisters (there are 3 more as well, and i love them just as much)

benny boy

nick

gracie + katy

things that make me happy.

a) coffee is hot and ready every morning. it even comes with sarcastic notes.


b) days with adventures. colleen and i went to styers to get some pumpkins! I roasted mine already and roasted the seeds tonight. I did 2 batches, one with just salt and the other i made this brown sugar/cinnamon/cayenne pepper/vanilla/maple/whiskey stuff and "caramelized" it then coated the other seeds. its so goooood! Then we went to new hope for the day. I've never been and I got so many awesome things. like $7 muclucs, and a sequined magenta skirt (look out birthday!) the most AMAZING earrings ever in life that deserve a post of their own, and and and. Good day. I love new hope. i want to open a bakery there, and live there. so tiny and cute.





(iphone pictures of the river between new hope and new jersey) loves it.

personal things

alright- this blog started off personal, got non-personal, and is now going to be personal again (for at least this post) I have too much going on inside my head, and no place to let it out. And I miss writing it down.

I am so confused. I have always been the girl who had her shit together. I was the girl who was on top of things, had a good job, was organized, and pulled together. I knew what I wanted, and I worked hard to get it. I was confident in my life, I could support myself, and I was living life exactly the way I wanted to. Hmm..maybe that's an indication as to why everything fell apart.

In the past couple of weeks I lost my current job. It was a surprise, but I felt relieved. I always loved that job because i was working for one my my best friends, but I never really loved the actual job itself. I'm happy and relieved that John and I can go back to being just friends. It's nice. I also found out I didn't get the blogging position I was really excited about. That was an even bigger bummer. So here I am at 23, with no job for the very first time in my life. I don't even know where to begin. Filing for unemployment was the most dis-satisfying thing. I didn't even want to do it. I feel like its for people who can't help themselves. I can help myself. But i did it anyways. free money? alright, i guess.

Not having a job put a big damper on the whole house buying thing. I can't really move forward with that until I get another job, and get some income history. bash. I moved in with the keenans which has been magical and amazing. It's so nice to be around people who you know care about you. even enough to tease you. But this was supposed to be temporary until I bought a house. With my entire family coming for Christmas, and house buying at least 6 months out, I'm now looking at finding a new house to rent for a period of time with 1 other person. interested?

I've requested information from a couple schools in the area about their pastry programs. Back to School? Seems crazy, I was SO done 3 years ago, do I really want to go back? I do miss learning.

I'm 23, and my life looks nothing like I wanted it to. That's difficult, but I'm trying to come to terms with it. I thought I had everything under control, but it all blew up in my face, and I'm still struggling with feeling inadequate, dis-satisfied, lonely, and like a screw-up. I feel like I've disappointed my family, and that blows.

I'm masking it with a smile, like I always do, but I could still use all the hugs I could get. Everyday is scary, and I feel like I'm spiraling downwards. It feels like nothing is working here, and I even thought about moving yesterday. closer to my family, somewhere new.

I'm dealing. I'm struggling with it all, but I'm trying to take care of it. I need support, and love, and care, and friends. I feel like a fragile egg thats going to break. I'm trying to stay strong, but I'm always strong, and part of me just wants to fall apart.

ok- I think that's enough for now.

best ever

I found this through someone through someone through someone's facebook photos. I am that "brides make" (maid) best pie she ever had. whoa!

Phoenix

I fulfilled a long time desire of mine this week. I saw Phoenix live. What's even better is that Chairlift opened for them. WTF? Best show. Phoenix is insanely good live. 4 hot french men, i mean, come on. le love.